Showering

More or Less part I

On weekends, usually Sunday and depending what I’m doing that day, I step more or less out of the water and, with a bar of soap wrapped in a face-washer, I lather myself up, chest and arms first then working my way down. I lather myself completely. This has two functions – it obviously makes me clean and makes sure I don’t miss any part of my body.

On days like today, I wake up and walk straight into the bathroom. I turn the water on before I close the door. If the window is open I shut it. I strip and run my hand under the stream – when the temperature is right, I step in and push the glass door shut.

I always intend to hurry but the hot water on my neck, running down my back and legs is like nothing else. If the hot water lasted and I didn’t have to hurry off to work, I could stand there in a semi-meditative state for hours. I could sleep in this position, in a state of pre-birth bliss. I eventually put some liquid soap onto the wash cloth and give myself a once over, paying special attention to behind my ears and ear holes – I’m almost as self conscious of the cleanliness of my ears, something to do with the fact I cannot see them, as I am of the thinning of my hair. I spend entire work meetings, consciously or not, with a finger in my ear.

Shampooing my hair is always last. I rub it into my hair, keeping my head out of the water and letting the shampoo settle – and clean – for several moments. While I wait, I wash my underarms and my genitals again. Sometimes I doodle in the fogged glass.

No, the last thing I do is offer my chin and neck to the hot water. I keep my mouth tight-lipped as it runs over me, sometimes massaging my jaw. I turn the taps off, reach out and pull my towel off the rail. I quickly dry everywhere in the same order I lather myself – all except my head – while standing in the shower recess.

I have an old blue and white towel, worn to the appearance of a rag, which I use to demist the mirror then drape over my shoulders. I squirt a dollop of shaving cream into my left hand then rub my two hands together, as though there was a ball in it, before creating a white beard on my face. My wet feet tingle and itch from tinea. I shave – always – from left to right: first my right cheek, jaw and side of my neck, then my moustache and chin, and finally my left cheek, jaw and left side of my neck, my mind all the while still mercifully blank.

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I Showering
II Eating
III Washing up
IV Television
V Intercourse

Lead Igloo

Related posts:

1. Washing up
2. Intercourse
3. Eating